When She was pregnant! Part-2

In continuation with Part-1, she sleeps off that night as her husband was busy partying with his sister and friends. His sister always wanted her brother to be with her more than him being with his wife. Also she never cared about her husband or her matrimonial house. More than her mother she was not ready to leave her brother to his wife. Basically she wanted to do everything for her brother without giving much trouble to his wife including her private space. She wanted to be a part of every bit. She would know each bit happening in the bed room ( imagine!). It’s something like a round table conference in their family that what happens in their bedroom. In case if she calls her husband , it was a conference call or loud speaker call. If her parents call him for anything , again it’s either a loud speaker or a conference. So think of privacy she had in her marriage. Initially she was feeling so shameful to know everyone talks about everything. No matter how “A” rated the matter is. Including everything happens in the bedroom. Later she tells her parents about the same and even they felt a bit weird but they were too shameful to discuss it with their son in law or his family. They told her to adjust or to handle herself. Sometimes during late nights if she and her husband were talking, thr sister in law used to call and ask she can hear them talking and what is her brother doing that late whenever she stayed in the same house. She mostly stayed back at her mother house post her college. BTW she was a lecturer in a college. She used to always say she love her brother more than anything in the world( as if she is the only one blessed with a brother on this whole universe ). The moment she see her brother showing little care or affection towards his wife, it’s a gone case. Next day surely a big fight between husband and wife. She had made her brother a puppet. By default her parents were on her side. Father was numb because he was unable to speak against his wife and children. How can she like her?? She needed her privacy at least in this pregnancy matter and see who gets the UPT kit!! Hope I explained the reason why she hated her so much! Even the sister in law hated her so much but then she was pretending as if she loved her so much. Do you think anyone would be dumb enough for not knowing reasons for their fights inside the bedroom?? How silly of her sister in law!

And let’s get back to the actual thing. The husband returns from his night party may be by 12:30am on Sunday, and try to hug her and talk nicely as he was drunk and also because he left her and went. Also he is curious about the test result. She just did not speak much and silently she says goodnight and pretended to be sleepy. Then he sleeps off.

The same morning he couldn’t sleep well and he wakes her up early morning like 4am and they start speaking. This was something usual between them . If they were good, they used to talk more and more. Or sometimes if he was guilty, he used to feel sorry about it and used to treat her well and wanted to talk to her more . He was never been apologetic but she could feel he was guilty. He notices her being still angry and takes her into his arms and talk nicely. She could have been easily fooled by his nice and yummy talks you see! Then her anger came down and he asks her about the UPT result. She tells him, it’s a surprise and she laughs! But she could feel his curiosity. Later it may be around 6am and she finally decided to tell him what happened. Saying the result was faintly positive. She may be pregnant. He says it’s not possible and he is been very careful and all. Somehow after few minutes he couldn’t stay in the room and he went down. Their room was upstairs and the house was down. She din’t know what to do and she was just on the bed in the room imagining his thoughts and why he suddenly went off like that. It continued for an hour or so.

Then after an hour , his father go to the sons room and try to talk to her about it. He loved her like a daughter(more than his daughter). That’s what he mentioned to her many times in the absence of his wife and children. He was also helpless knowing how his wife and daughter were influencing on his son’s marriage. Let’s get back to the point. Now his father tells , it was too early for their son to have a baby as it’s just 6 months of marriage. In case if the result is positive , she should be think about it. By the way, the husband was 33years by then and she was 30years. She started weeping and kept silent without saying anything. Because inside her head she was so hesitated to talk anything thinking if this is the topic a husband should discuss or his father! He spoke and went down. But his father was the one who wanted his son to have a baby soon at-least then son would change for better and towards his wife by leaving his much focus on his mother and sister. After sometime she gets freshen up and go down for the regular kitchen work. His parents have gone for a wedding Non-veg lunch meanwhile the daughter stayed back home and takes an appointment in her brother’s friends hospital which was close to his fitness studio he owned that time. Then her husband tells her to get ready for a salon inauguration and then they need to go for a check up. She believes it and go with him. She was even told in case if she get pregnant, his family should be informed first and if they say no, then she shouldn’t proceed. She should not even tell her family without his family consent. Later she don’t know what happened in the tests of that hospital or with the medicine they gave. The reports came negative and said she was not pregnant. Her dream shattered followed by my mother in laws torture saying to turn her son towards herside (daughter in law side) , she lied. Is it a news to lie?? Can any girl hide her baby bum if it’s a lie?? After 2-3 days of hospital appointment she got her periods. After this the husband did not sleep with her for 2-3 weeks thinking she will get pregnant. It seems when he heard the news his wife may be a pregnant, he got chills and he was shivering as his family members said later as if like he is becoming father to an illegal child. After which the mother in law made sure she will keep track of her daughter in law monthly cycle and made sure she will feed her enough of black sesame seeds by making sweet out of it or raw papaya. And the mother in law tells daughter in law , nowadays girls are so forward that girls should know how to use protection and not to get pregnant. Look at her! Her son wants all the pleasure and Daughter in law should be taking pills and spoiling her health! Wow!! Kudos to this monster in law 👏 Till date when she hear about other girls being pregnant, for a real reason she gets depressed and she try not to attend many functions. Because it reminds her of the pregnancy incident she went through. It’s not that she jealous about other girls but Its about feeling sad for herself.

Am literally in tears while writing this. From the time Ria was married , her mother in law always accused her when nobody were around that she separating her husband from them all. But all daughter in law needed was a little Love , Care and a good family, not a separate house. As a surprise about the pregnancy check up she gets to know much later that it was for a termination of pregnancy(After the beating incident as mentioned in the earlier blog).

Thanks for reading!

When She was Pregnant! Part-1

In continuation with my previous blog, I missed an important part. Like most of the girls , she also wanted to get pregnant and have a family of her own. Somehow she had a fantasy of having twins, a boy and a girl. I promise 🙃 When she got married also all was in her head was to be a good Daughter-in-law to in laws, a good wife for husband and a very good mother to her children (assuming she will have TWINS)😂. After marriage her eagerness about having a child became more because she was so curious how their baby look like(I believe both she and her husband look good, atleast to my eyes 🤣) and both of them were a terror and crazy, she was more curious what if it inherits both of their behaviour together and how to handle that collective bunch😂 Because both of them were not easy to handle by everyone. Till this moment she wasn’t sure about her husband’s views about having children. But once he had told her, who doesn’t like kids??and he would love to drop and pick them up from school😂 and then spend time with them as he would want to be a good father.

It was may be 6 months after their marriage, she missed her periods suddenly. Waited for 5-6 weeks and it dint happen. Usually her cycles were regular. Somewhere she was tensed and kinda happy thinking what if it’s positive and scared thinking if they are really ready for it. Kinda mixed emotions. It was a Friday night (weekend) and she mostly had off from work on Saturdays and Sundays. That weekend her husband and his family were forcing her to go back to her parents as usual . Because their plans you remember(from my previous blog)?? Weekends their son must go out with his friends and his sister like how he was before marriage. If she there in their house she will create issues saying atleast on weekends he don’t give her time or takes out or atleast spend time with her inside the house. Because from the time they got married he always used to say he is very busy. May be they had planned well about this whole marriage before and after.

Let’s come back to the Friday night. Her husband tells her he has plans to go out on Saturday night and he checks with her if she would like to go to her parents house. She denies it angrily saying she do not wish to go as her parents doesn’t like her going there very often unless it’s with him or only if it’s needed. As her parents wanted her to give more time to the husband and his family to get adjusted and used to the matrimonial house than going there every now and then without husband. Her husband never liked accompanying her to her parents house. Everytime she used to go alone and it was their arrangement that she must visit my parents on weekends as their daughter will be with them every weekend. But her parents were not liking it and she used to get scoldings from them as it was a new marriage. Because they were scared that people would think she had fought with husband and come.

Well, again let’s go back to Friday night. After she denies to go back to her parents home she sleeps off without much talking. Next day is a Saturday and usually they were spending some more time as it was holiday for her and later she would go off to her parents on most weekends as per their plan. Next morning , he noticed that she was a bit angry and did not speak much also he had plans to go out leaving her on Saturday night and she was going to stay in their house , he wanted to handle her well and he was kinda sweet enough with his talks and actions. She felt , wow and it’s a good time and let me tell him the news. now she make up her mind to tell him , about missing her periods and she may or may not be pregnant. For her surprise , he dint react and he was shocked to know . She thought may be this is how all fathers reaction would be.

Then she asks him to get her an UPT(Urine Pregnancy Test) kit which he did not get her till that evening. He makes his sister to get the kit after planning with his family well. She was shocked and was totally unaware that she would get the kit as she was as expecting her husband would get her. She hated her sister in law because she was wicked. Somehow she had all weird notions about life , marriage and society. She used to think , because of society one should get married and it’s not compulsion that you have to be with your husband or wife all the time. You must be with your friends outside always like how you were unmarried. End of the day you will go back to bed with them. Basically she means , she don’t want to be with her husband all the time and her brother also shouldn’t be with his wife. She had put these thoughts into her parents as well as brother. She is kind of dictator in the family. One more important thing, she don’t like to have children as she thinks there is just one life and we should enjoy it. Kids and all unwanted pain and responsibilities. She had filled the same thoughts to her brother also. So he had the power of his mother and his sister. Father was a little better and he was not into these things. Let’s move on now!

First of all she was furious that her husband made his sister to get the kit, secondly he was not there when she wanted to do the test. With a sad mood, she checks and it was Faintly Positive which would leave her scratching her head. Is she really pregnant?? Read my next blog to know what happened later.

Thanks for Reading!

What happened on 19th July 2016!

After 19th July 2016, every year on this day is so #memorable. Because this was the day she was beaten at midnight from her husband family along with his mother and sister and thrown out of the house dragging her pulling her hair from second floor. The reason was their greed as they had got married with a wrong intention. She celebrates this day as a BLACKDAY of her life till she is alive! Here is the story what happened.

Like all other girls, even She got married to this guy in an arranged marriage with so much dreams and desires in life. According to them they were all educated family and they lived in one of the best places and her place is a Village. During the journey of this marriage, she realised it was not an usual marriage. It was a set up and a business agreement within their family so that they will get their son married to a rich girl so that their son life will be settled. Initially she couldn’t understand as she was new to the family . But as days passed by , she could sense each small thing happening in the house and how each one of them as a person.

Basically her husband was never interested to be married. She don’t know for what reasons but other family members like his parents and sister forced him to be married and be the same person like how he was before marriage. He need not change and his wife anyways have to live with him and she will have no choice. This was the agreement they had. Before marriage also his irresponsibility was too much but then she was told by her family that guys will be like this only before marriage and later they will change. Remember, his family agreement is totally different. Finally marriage took place! And it was a grand wedding ceremony with lakhs of spending as usual.

After marriage, as usual some rituals few days here at girls home and then to husbands home. During this phase also she never felt his presence neither into the marriage nor her. He was just doing it for the sake of it. After some point of time , he started feeling her presence in everything may be because She was living in the same house and in the same room. He had no choice except to live with her and see her every day. Somehow he was trying to get in to her but then usual mother in law and sister in law tortures like in movies. Filling ears of her husband about her all the time and even when he was wrong, encouraging him. Always teaching him wrong things and to hate her.

As mentioned before , She started understanding lot of things and She used to openly ask her husband why things are like this and also how serious he is about this marriage. Apart from this, in her husband absence lot of things used to happen. Like a fool she used to discuss with him what happened in the house in his absence forgetting, they are all from the same family and she is an outsider. This used to build hatredness because his mother and sister used to change the whole story for him in a different way which would make him hate her. As days and months passed by , she and her husband started getting together well to some extent (which she believed things are going fine) . One fine day she decided to buy a car for their wedding anniversary as her husband always wanted a big car . They also took a test drive. Booked also. Him and his parents were very happy.

He somehow never wanted to change much after marriage. He wanted to go out with his friends and his sister almost every weekends but not her . Him and his family used to force her to go to her parents house every weekend saying she must see her parents and give importance. But the actual reason was , he wanted to go out with his friends and his sister almost on all the weekends. As she was working she used to be busy on weekdays and weekends was the only time she was getting to be with her husband and family. But they wanted her to go to her parents on all the weekends. She was patiently waiting for things to get better.

As a family they never wanted her to get pregnant or to even have a marriage certificate . Even her husband did not want her to have a child. She don’t know for what reasons. This continued even after one year of marriage . After booking a car , one day suddenly he comes and tells her that the chain given in the marriage is too short. His astrologer have asked him to wear a chain which should be long enough to touch the heart so that his luck will be changed. She said fine and told her father the same . Her father said no money and still he got the new chain which was long enough so that his daughter will not be tortured in any way. After all this, one day she was at work and suddenly fell sick and was falling on the floor and crying in pain due to severe stomach ache. As usual, her emergency contact was her husband and he gets a call from her office saying your wife is very sick. Please come and take her . In return he responds , please send her in the cab and I cannot come. May be the distance between his house and my office was abt 6-7km. He couldn’t go and later his sister calls her and asks if she should go to pick her up. She says No and later he will come in a bike. Takes her to the nearest hospital for check up with no money. The bill was 500Rs. She pays!

Everything together disturbed her so much and she decided to cancel the car booking. It was on 15th July 2016 , for a weekend she was at my parents house. Even her parents and brother felt it’s too much she is doing taking loan for a new car where in her husband was so irresponsible and ignorant towards her. So after buying car also it will be her who will face the same things by paying EMI and he would never change. All together car booking cancelled and she informs her husband the same that she changed her mind to cancel. And she returns to his house. On 19th July 2016 both of them had some argument about everything which was happening till then over the call . Of course she was concerned and upset about her life and she spoke , shouted and argued that how bad things were going. That day was Guru Poornima , him,his sister and mother had been out somewhere . She reached their home from work and it was around 8:30pm. She was tired and upset . She skipped her dinner also and went to her room in second floor and fell asleep. Usually her Phone will be in silent mode.

Later these 3 people , her husband , mother in law and sister in law have returns home by 11:30pm or so. They try to call her and as the phone was in silent she continued to sleep. Then suddenly these 2 ladies go to her room and knocks the door loud and scream her name(Ria). As she was in deep sleep , she took sometime to realise and get up, open the door. Soon she opened the door her mother in law will start beating her saying how dare she shouts at my husband and when she tried to stop her beating by holding her hand, her sister in law screams how dare she hit her mother and again start beating her. Then her husband heard the big noise and he goes to the room and time may be around 11:45pm or so . He hear from his mother and sister that His wife has beaten them. Then he just pulls her hair and drag her down from second floor and throw her out of the house as if she is like some animal. May be animals also gets a better treatment! How will she ever forget this incident and move on when it haunts every single day of her life?? It was Tuesday, Guru Poornima on 19th July 2016. At least for a courtesy sake he never tried contacting her since then.

Meanwhile through various sources she understood , all they wanted was a marriage for money not her. Car cancellation was the reason all that happened on that day! Today is 19th July 2020. It still haunts and bring her tears as and when she remembers it. Will she ever forget all this and move on in her life?? Well, I don’t know!! Honestly, she fought, argued or got angry in that marriage to save her marriage, never to break. Finally it broke into pieces which she could never correct! Never she asked for any money or expensive gifts nor she had any demands except a little Care if not Love.

Please check the background of the guy and family when you are getting your precious daughter married. She is MORE PRECIOUS. And let me not judge all the guys and on earth will be same. For her bad luck she ended up one like this. Though I had seen these things only in movies and TV Serials, I understand these incidents still happen in real lives.

Thanks for reading!

How I wish things were different now 😊

Sometimes when I think of current situations , I always feel it shouldn’t have been this way or things should have been in other way. But surely not the way it is! Am I the only one who feel this?? No! There are plenty of us who feel the same. But it is what it is 😂 isn’t it??

Something like if Duryodhana had not insulted Draupadi, Mahabharata wouldn’t have happened. If Rama had trusted Seetha, Ramayana wouldn’t have happened. 😂😂 Lord Shiva also faced issues. Creator Lord Bramha also have a curse that he will not be worshipped. It is always believed that , things happen for a reason. So this is about mythology. Let’s come to real life Ramayana Mahabharata’s now.

Many times we would feel, I shouldn’t have studied engineering rather I should have opted something else. Had I not met this person , things would be different . If I had not spoken few things , things would be much better today .. or If I had spoken things differently, the whole scenario would be different now. Its never ending . It’s done, it’s over. We can’t change anything now . It’s only we can wish , they could have been different and how it is not the way it is now.

May be that’s how it is meant to be. Let’s accept the reality and move on in life and let’s try not to harm others when we cannot do good to others . These things are in our hands but not controlling our past! Let’s make our life a better place.

Thanks for reading!

Diya’s “Cyanide” Preparation.. 😝

Yes ! Yes ! You read it right .. 🙈 She is a good cook you see 👩🏻‍🍳 Excited?? Let me tell you about this one quickly!

I and Diya know each other from couple of years and worked together. She is a bit weird , sarcastic but too practical. She has very less friends and am one among them. We almost talk about each and everyday through messages . At times we call and literally talk about each and everything. She is a fast cook and she cooks anything and everything only when she is in mood to cook(remember this one)🤓.

It’s usually Diya who messages every single day without fail except few days when she is low. Recently one whole day she dint message and I was also busy the whole day . Then that evening I got free and realised Diya hasn’t texted even a single message. Then I sent a “Hey babe !! Wassup ?”. She replies She wanna die. I sensed something must be wrong and called her immediately.

I said Hey babe in my happy voice because I wanted to comfort her , she still sounded very low . I laughed and asked WHY? She was sobbing and saying , she is a big failure in life and her life is done. I still continued to talk in a funnily saying If she die now , I will be questioned about the incident because her last call would be mine. As am very busy now I can’t deal with this one and laughed again . I could sense she was a little better !😂

Again I asked , what’s the reason she wanna die or take such an extreme step. She again says she is a failure from all aspects of life and she has nothing left !! ( Family, health , Marriage and Career) . But so far as I know she has good family , health is not very bad where she can think of dying , she has a lovely Husband , she wanted to take a break from work so she is home now . And now she says she want to die as her life is a failure. That too without pain and quickly 😂 I laughed again and asked is she has any plans of how to die ..!! She replies “ Ya, Cyanide kills quickly also no pain”. I then ask her if she gets it by some Terrorist or Naxalite ?? Her reply was it’s very easy, I am gonna prepare at home!! I literally couldn’t stop laughing. May be she thought it as a piece of cake 🧁.

My next question was , How will she prepare ? She told me she will collect 200 apple seeds and she will prepare at home. Instantly I said , she can prepare it at home and make a video to promote through YouTube and other channels. The very next moment she release the video, she will have a long queue infront of her house to buy her so called Cyanide 🤣 .So that her career will be fixed and she get fame too. I even said I can help her with some comments on her YouTube channel saying “Hey Diya, it’s me commenting from HELL/HEAVEN, your cyanide is too good and it worked.” That’s it! She bursted out laughing and said she can’t think about death now. She even said I can be a good counsellor . 🤣 I told her I will charge her from next time.

Again I suggested her, she should think of preparing Cyanide and making a video and posting it in her YouTube channel!! (On a funny note )😂😂 She couldn’t imagine the fame(becoming overnight media and internet sensation) soon after trying that recipe and posting it. So she dropped the idea of Dying and preparing Cyanide. 😜

Thanks for reading !

Someone I know !

Here I met a person few years back who had weird likings in life. He lives on his own principles! Weird but he don’t really care about anyone! He calls himself an influencer. What matters to him is his family! They are weird too 😂 At first I was wondering why he is like this ? Then after seeing his family, I din’t wonder much. It’s a family of four people where mother have separated her husband from everyone in the family and made sure it’s only she and her children for him. As she was emotionless , she brought up children also like that. Wherein both him and his sister cannot live without each other because they brought up in such an environment where it’s just four of them.

At some point both son and daughter have grown and reached their marriage age. For the society sake parents wanted to get their children married. Finally daughter got married first and after an year son also got married . For their luck both of them ended up being married to good souls and families . Now the actual problem started..!

As they had brought up in a closed environment of family of four , both daughter and son did not want to accept these new people in the family. It’s mostly like family of four remained constant. So now both children have left their partners saying they cannot live without each other (I mean siblings) . Daughter leave her husband first and she will make sure her brother also leave his wife. Now again back to the family of four. 🤣🤣 Parents never tried to correct their marriage instead they encouraged them to leave their partners . If this is what the mindset being parents why they got their children married at first place . Secondly being parents, how are they even peaceful being spoiling their children life! Now both children are jobless and sitting at home! Parents are as usual jobless!!

Family is always important but not to this extent! initially I did not want to judge him but as time passed by , I definitely had to be judgeMENTAL how anti social element him and his family is!! Also people like this talk too much and want to influence their surrounding with their thoughts in your lives. Finally it’s you who decides , who should and shouldn’t influence your life!!

After knowing his family background I realised , his family is the reason he is like this today! I later regretted for knowing him! 🙈 now I have realised , people like this also exist! I don’t want to judge if they are good or bad. But definitely worth writing ✍️ His mother made sure daughter and son grow up together and die together. May be as a mother she loved her children very much. But as a children they did not grow up well. One fine day he comes to me and tells happily that how people are scared of him and his family to talk about anything . I then got to know all the relatives and friends kept them away for their antisocial behaviour and their bad influence to escape from them.

Thanks for reading!

Crushes getting Crashed!!

Well, this topic must interest you more now cos it’s about crushes 😂 And here I remembered a very good friend of mine whom I met during 2008-09 while being part of an NGO where in he had series of crushes like a metro train 😂 one goes , immediately another comes !! Here and there some break !!

Well today when I was talking to him, I mentioned my next topic as Crushes Getting Crashed and he was so excited 😆 Then I replied him saying , it’s your story am gonna write. His reply was like , ayyo Nin ajji 😂 Then I asked him if he remember all his crushes now , won’t he laugh thinking about those days . He said he is literally laughing now 😂😂 I then convinced him saying , how him and his crushes are giving me content to write my blog 😜 also I said his crushes story could be telecasted as a never ending web series and then we both laughed! #Nostalgia😜

So far I remember, he might have had about 15-20 crushes and all got crashed before even he told them he had a crush 😂 Any pretty girl he meets, he had a crush without fail . For sure he was being extremely good and well behaved . Not just that , he used to be so helpful for them .. Making sure all pretty girls attends each NGO programs !! Hahahahaha !! May be this happens to most of them in their college days ! Now he is been happily married to one of his crushes(May be the last Crush about which am not sure 😉) and have 2 kids! He still hires all babes in his team as he is the Hiring Manager but he works from home 😂 When asked the reason he says , Pretty girls are inspiration to the team!! (He says in a funny way) 😬

Thanks for reading!

Getting Settled?

It’s all about people talk about getting settled!

So here I am confused about getting settled and it’s such a big taboo in the society!! According to people getting settled is either getting married(maximum people say) or getting a job(some people say) or going abroad or buying a new house , car and so on. 

Come on !! Nothing of these are permanent . Looking at the current trend a marriage won’t even last for a month , you might lose your job at any point of your time . Buying materialistic things will increase your burden of EMI’s! However the definition of getting settled has changed in the modern age. At any point of time you may sent back to your motherland from the foreign land you are working.

Olden days , people were getting married and staying together till their last breath. However the current trend is not ready for it. All I wanna say is Marriage is not getting settled , which can break at any point and one will keep on ending up getting settled again and again 😂 There is nothing called getting settled in Life. Just live every moment to the fullest.

Thanks for reading.

Our First Blog

We were thinking what to write and from where and how to start!!

Thinking ..! Thinking ..! And after so many thoughts that came across, we’ll start off with a little about us and a glimpse into our lives.

We would like to write about our experiences in life and also the experiences of people around us, the profound wisdom we’ve gained, the lessons we’ve learnt, silly witty stuff, the fun and laughter, the heartaches, the loss.. just about anything which is a part of our day to day life. Our stories might be interesting to some of you or might be a tad bit boring or repetitive to others.

We girls are in our 30’s, friends from a decade and a half. We come from different backgrounds with common interests, quite like minded.. agree to disagree on many a things, two of us love cooking and one loves baking, she can bake all day through the year! We holiday together, we would meet very often over cooking and baking sessions.. the usual girly stuff, photo sessions, and talk about almost everything under the sun!

The pandemic arrives! We couldn’t meet as often, we spoke to each other often over the phone, we had nothing new to speak either other than Corona, we were stuck at home. It was boredom of a different kind.. a new experience of extreme isolation. Being with family and folks is one thing, but for months on end, it was something else altogether. It was a new opening, we got to know more about people at close quarters, behaviours, attitudes and so on. We also learnt to cook better, to appreciate the small and big thing, to be thankful for our families, our pets, appreciate things and people we take for granted. It was the beginning of a new experience..

The boredom continued, that’s when we came up with the idea and concept of documenting our varied experiences, not just limited to everyday life but also to anything and everything interesting that comes up.

Thanks for reading!

Stay Home Stay Happy 😊