Abraham’s Story

My First Love

Somewhere in the mid 90’s, between the transition from primary to high school, I fell in love with this girl. Love or what was it, a crush maybe? She was beautiful, well mannered, loving and caring. Of my vivid recollections of her, she would come in a big caramel colored car with her dad. Her parents were our family friends as well, they were special to us. We would hang out often doing this and that. She was the love of my life, I was a shy guy and had no courage to speak to her openly, I had a crush over her. Slowly things changed, her father passed on, we continued to remain friends. We would visit each other’s homes after Sunday Mass.

Somehow although shy, I made up my mind and confessed my love to her. It was a smooth start, suddenly it was like the stars aligned in my favor, like she knew it was bound to happen, we knew we were in love and I filled that empty space with those three magical words, with that we were officially a couple, alright, a mini couple if there is something like that. We were lovers for the very first time in our lives. That bliss!

I vividly remember that moment, a very cold December evening, about 8 maybe.. clear skies with plenty of stars, walking towards her farm gates, our parents ahead of us unaware of what was happening. I told her that I was madly in love with her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, it was a mutual feeling. That long walk and each moment spent was unforgettable. There are no words to describe how I felt at that moment. Ecstatic. I was excited to meet her the next day but the winter holidays had just begun, no school, I had to wait till Sunday, after mass. The very thought of it was frustrating. I tried all kinds of things to get a glimpse, to meet but nothing seemed to work. I was angry and sad at the same time. Teenage pangs! To my utter delight, she happened to come home that evening. My joy knew no bounds. I was so in love that I really didn’t know what was happening with me, I became more aware of my surroundings, the people around me, everyday was like a new day. I appreciated my family, my friends and loved them all the more. Her and me being in the same school, my school days were all the more memorable and I’ll cherish them for ever. Everything with that lovely curly haired girl was beautiful, the innocence of that love. There was nothing more I ever wanted.

Being in love for the first time or rather my first love taught me a lot many things along the way. First and foremost to be patient and to slow down, everything comes to you. As I said life seemed perfect, no hurdles. I was madly in love with her. Over time, life has its own twists and turns which many might not understand. Nothing is perfect, nothing in life is permanent. I had the pleasure of being in love, the most beautiful experience, something i would treasure all my life. A love that i would never forget. Love is beautiful indeed! ❤️

Closure!

When you want to do something there should not be any obstacles personally or professionally. The moment you feel there is an issue, it is very important to act on it and find a solution. In this blog I am referring to a relationship.

She is Q and he is X. Both of them are working in the same office. As both of them are working together, they have a good bonding and are attracted to each other. He is funny and she falls for his jokes. Laughter is the reason for their connection. Days and months pass by and suddenly she develops more interest in him. Meanwhile they spend more time together at work and also outside work including the weekends.

While off shore travel on work , both get more attracted and he approaches her to get into physical relation with him. She did not deny as he always gives her good vibes and never starts his day without calling her and texting her. She thought he may be in love with her . She is pretty and he is handsome. So there is a natural attraction. She wouldn’t mind getting into physical relationship with him as they are quite comfortable with each other.

And now she gets intimidated by him and they move little further in that moment. They enjoyed each other’s company so much that it cannot be described. Both of them want each other more and more. After some point she would get too scared of getting attached to him. One fine day, she asks him if he can marry her. He laughs and continue to be as usual with her. She scratches her head that what exactly the definition of the relationship they share. Somewhere he gets a hint that she is trying to give their relationship a name but he thinks they are just friends with benefits and he tries to explain to her. As her imagination was totally different she couldn’t not accept what he said. She is so attached to him now that she cannot come out of these things easily. A closure makes it easier to accept the fact and move on in life instead or dwelling in the same relationship which has no name.

In any relationship or marriage, it is very important to have a clarity. If one think there is no future for the relationship, it’s better to have a closure and move on and make life beautiful. Sometimes it is better to communicate what exactly one is looking for in the relationship, makes it better than assuming things and getting hurt later. Isn’t it?

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What is Love?

I am in Love mood today! What do you think about Love? If Love can’t be defined, why do we call some feeling as Love?? Is it okay if we love two people at the same time?? Have you ever experienced Love?Do you think it’s even right to love two people and being in relationship at the same time? Isnt it called cheating / betrayal? Why people are possessive in Love? If Love is never ending , why will people break up in Love? Can Love happen once or multiple times ? What is True Love?

Will people get into relationships out of love or Lust or by force ? If one relationship can end after being in love so much, what is the guarantee of next relationship? Or is it better to be with someone without any commitments or any strings?? If so , then what is Love?? We can’t predict our feelings right??

If love can keep changing from one person o another person , why do people say it as True Love and it is eternal or never ending ?? Earlier people used to die for the one whom they loved. Now the definition of Love has changed. In the current trend, Love with one person is temporary. It remains as long as one of them or both of them gets bored. I have been searching for a proper definition of Love and relationship but unable to find it till now. Honestly , I don’t know what is Love.

People say they love each other and get into relationships/marriages. Then they break it so easily as if it means nothing to them. In this case where did all the previous love go? Moving on is the next thing which eventually happen. But What is love? If Love can disappear from the relationship , why do you even call it Love or True Love or Never ending Love ? Why can’t we call this as a attraction or temporary attraction instead of Love? How many of us have the same feeling ??

If you ask me, I would say If Love is unconditional, Parents are the only definition. They give birth, care constantly, secure us and they never leave us till death. May be love is a wrong word if we use it otherwise. To an extent, siblings also can be categorised under Love.

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College Crush!

It was first day of her Bachelors. She is pretty and all excited to start her first day . She does lot of shopping 🛍 so that she don’t repeat any dresses . She is very particular about her dressing like all other girls of her age . It’s sharp 9am and she is in the classroom . There are about 80 people in the classroom and she is just waiting for someone to come and talk to her and comfort her. She is a bit choosy when it comes to friends. So the first day is full of introduction and knowing about everyone in the classroom. From the next day classes commenced.

She enters the classroom second day and there is a guy who is starring at her. First she ignores . It will keep on repeating every now and then. She could feel the stare and she also will start looking at him as a prank. After a while everytime he looked at her butterflies started flying in her tummy like all college girls of that age. Looking at each other they finish an year. Both of them passing by each other and staring at each other and so on. He never tried speaking to her nor did she. She was happy in the crush phase!

Second year accidentally they meet in the canteen with no friends with them. As usual both eyes meet and they finally decides to talk . She will wait for him to come and talk first but he is shy! Then she will only proceed with her first talk and then they started meeting each other and talking to each other outside the college. Both of them were scared of people making fun in the college. She likes him a way bit more than she though. May be it’s teenage effect. One fine day he proposes her and he tells her not to tell anybody in the college. She did not understand the reason though. She will ask for a reason and he would just tell her not to tell anyone. Somehow the next day of him proposing she will go to college and she looks super happy, blushing in movie style . Naturally her friends noticed her and asked her for the reason again and again . She couldn’t stop telling that how her guy proposed. The moment she reveals her friends , this guy enters and witnesses her breaking the promise while passing by that morning while entering the classroom.

That day she has a strange feeling that he is not looking at her. Inspite of her making an eye contact with him, he is intentionally not looking at her. She feels bad and go back home in the evening and try to check her emails. There is a new email waiting from him to her saying , let us be strangers forever. Her heart breaks and she did not send any reply. Rest of the Bachelor degree got over in their hide and seek game of staring into each other. They both moved into different jobs later and never contacted again. Till date she is surprised for the reason he told her not to tell anybody and reason for breakup. Their love just ended as a college crush.

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How I wish things were different now 😊

Sometimes when I think of current situations , I always feel it shouldn’t have been this way or things should have been in other way. But surely not the way it is! Am I the only one who feel this?? No! There are plenty of us who feel the same. But it is what it is 😂 isn’t it??

Something like if Duryodhana had not insulted Draupadi, Mahabharata wouldn’t have happened. If Rama had trusted Seetha, Ramayana wouldn’t have happened. 😂😂 Lord Shiva also faced issues. Creator Lord Bramha also have a curse that he will not be worshipped. It is always believed that , things happen for a reason. So this is about mythology. Let’s come to real life Ramayana Mahabharata’s now.

Many times we would feel, I shouldn’t have studied engineering rather I should have opted something else. Had I not met this person , things would be different . If I had not spoken few things , things would be much better today .. or If I had spoken things differently, the whole scenario would be different now. Its never ending . It’s done, it’s over. We can’t change anything now . It’s only we can wish , they could have been different and how it is not the way it is now.

May be that’s how it is meant to be. Let’s accept the reality and move on in life and let’s try not to harm others when we cannot do good to others . These things are in our hands but not controlling our past! Let’s make our life a better place.

Thanks for reading!